Top 5 Fashion Trends at the Oscars

Gerard Ortiz

This year’s Oscars experienced a ton of the devils’ work in them. Um, that slap much? I suppose you were so targeted on the spectacle of the evening that you forgot what it is we came below to do: worship.

I retained my eye on the prize and seen that this year’s Oscars vogue paid homage to a specified “Best Director” — God Himself. Study on about the best 5 holiest fashion trends and pray to Jesus that we arrived out of this awards period alive.

1. Dressing in the Immediate Image of the Lord

Some could connect with it sacrilege to play gown up as God for a official function. Regardless of whether they are dressing as a crucifix like Maggie Gyllenhaal or in all white in approximation to the lord’s garb, Hollywood celebs utilized the opportunity to come to be the residing embodiment of Christliness. Are you there, God? It is me, the angel Dame Judy Dench — and I have introduced fellow angel Wanda Sykes. And a person named Tati Gabrielle is below, much too.

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2. Edenic Scenes

Some may possibly connect with La La Land “heaven,” but we all know actual Shangri-La is time invested with family members and neighborhood. Peacocks and flowers and mothers looking at to little ones in the park — now that’s Eden on Earth, brought to us by the real lifetime Adam and Eves named Di Mondo, Eva Von Bahr, Kelly Osasere, and Stassiebaby.

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3. Guy Is Born Naked (Ecclesiastes 5:15-20)

Not putting on a shirt is up coming to godliness. But oh no… am I finding sizzling close to the collar? Am I lusting immediately after the flesh of Brad Mondo (3rd picture down)? Assistance me, Jesus!

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4. Dressing in the Immediate Picture of Satan

Hollywood’s constantly going to have raconteurs, who think taking part in close to with disturbing imagery is oh-so-outre. Perfectly, it is not. I know I experienced a momentary flash of want, but which is all gone. Evil has entered the setting up, and thy names are Billy Porter, Tinx, Raven-Symone, and Miranda Maday.

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5. The Mitts of Lucifer

Crimson dresses with exaggerated sweetheart necklines took heart phase, as if Beelzebub himself has his sizzling minor fingers all-around these starlets’ sufficient bosoms, as seen on Ariana DeBose, Tracee Ellis Ross, and Karreuche Tran. Satan, I give myself to thee.

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